That's when a car flashes its brights, and you hear a loud whistle tweet from the rolled down window. You turn on your heel, tears still streaming down your cheeks, eyes widening. If you could see yourself, you be easily compared to a deer in headlights with your shock.
A figure climbs out of the car, a black shadow to your current vision with the lights glaring in your eyes. Your shoulders shake, and you go to take a step back when the figure advances on you. How you managed to forget you were perched at the top of a bridge, is a complete mystery, but you did, until your body started to fall backwards. A scream erupts from your throat, cut off as you are jerked to a stop, one foot still on the banister, and one hanging. One of your arms is forward, held in a tight grip.
When you take a peak, you see the grip is a hand. This hand is connected to a boy, his rusty brown eyes glaring at you with immense anger. His naturally tanned skin is highlighted by the bright red of his sweater. Slightly curled black locks curve around his face, and a whistle hangs around his neck. The same whistle that just sounded minutes ago.
"I have find it quite triggering when I must break one's personal space, and especially my own. It would be greatly appreciated if you come down from this railing so I no longer have to break such boundaries. It is also very triggering to be stared at, and I would expect you to know that much Miss (l/n)."
You gape at him a moment longer before the connection flickers in your mind. The reason he knows your name. He's your old best friend's older brother. Kankri Vantas, the trigger king. He is also the older brother of your best friend, Karkat Vantas. Or perhaps your old best friend?
Karkat became upset with you last month, and now you aren't even talking. He was the last of your friends to leave you, and seeing Kankri reminds you of the ordeal that caused you to lose Karkat as well. It was about Terezi Pyrope.
Karkat likes Terezi, and you thought she was fine at first. She seemed normal, and Karkat was happy when they started dating. Yes, you were sometimes the third wheel but that was fine. It didn't seem to bother them which is all you were worried about. Then there was the day you saw 'that'. Terezi and Gamzee Makara. You were walking down the hall and saw them go into a janitor's closet together. That was sneaky on its own, but the fact they were making out as they stumbled in was the real ringer. You told Karkat and instead of taking your word, he became enraged and told you to stay away from him. It really hurt.
You quickly avert your eyes and allow him to pull you up before you climb down. Keeping your gaze low, you turn away from him and start to quickly abscond. You've become a nuisance to him as well now. Your parents, and your friends, your boyfriend, now a person you've only ever talked to a couple of times is angry at you.
"Excuse me, Miss (l/n), where are you going? You are acting in a very triggering manner, and it's appalling."
You're jerked to a stop, and you slowly turn around to his direction, head still lowered. He's going to lecture you. He'll lecture you, be satisfied and then you can go find another bridge, or a building or something. or you can go home and suffer in silence some more. What's another couple of months? It might even work to make the resolve a bit stronger.
"Can you believe how much shock you can give a person when they drive down a road and see someone standing dangerously close to the edge of the bridge? Not to mention is all of the chaos that would follow should you actually fall over. City maintenance, possibly divers, and all of the hustle would surely have the bridge closed down so that no one would get in the way. Your parents would surely be very distraught at the loss...(blah blah blah)"
You freeze up. Even if you tried to escort yourself out of this life, you'd still be burdening people. You question your parents, but all of those who'd need the bridge for transport and the poor diver who would have to fish your body out of the water. Even when you try to stop causing trouble for others, you're still being selfish and getting in their way. Kankri is painfully right. You should find another way to do this. Your dad has the gun in the closet. Your mom has those really strong pain killers for when she gets a migraine on her plain trips.
"All of your friends would surely miss you. Karkat would be heartbroken. He seems to rant about you so often, and especially after his recent fall out with-"
“Kankri, I’m sorry for my selfish behavior.” You drone in a monotone. Your face is blank, and you feel the same. Your tears have turned to threats in the corners of your eyes. “I’ll just go home and do something less troublesome.”
Kankri’s mouth shuts, and his lips purse as he stares at you confused. His rusty brown eyes search you as a thought tries to process in his mind. The furrowing of his brows indicates success. Except, he looks angry.
He stomps forward and grips your shoulders harshly. You gasp, not expecting such forward behavior from the trigger happy Vantas. You whip your (e/c) stare to his.
“I’m sorry for such a triggering advance Miss (l/n). I myself noted how much I hate personal space to be breached, but this is a situation I think calls for measures greater than the importance of such a trigger. I am calling you selfish in your behavior, but not because you are a nuisance. I am calling you selfish in that you are merely giving up something as precious as your own life. I am not urging you to find some other way to end yourself, but to think of those you will be leaving behind. If not them, then the chances and the life that you have every right to keep trying at.
“I apologize, for it is not my own life, but I just find it rather rude for you to give up so early. Whatever seems to be the problem right now, the average life span leaves you plenty of time from now for you to find a solution to such discourse. If things seem too hard, you can even find someone along the way to assist you in finding that solution.
My own brother has told me so many wonderful things about you. Talents and specialties that you excel in, though you may not see them yourself. So I really don't think you should do this."
Kankri finally falls silent. His eyes are filled with passion and meaning and as you gaze into them, you feel an immense pain. A pain so much worse than anything else you've felt so far tonight. The tears that were stuck on the edge are no longer to be held back, and you can feel the wetness on your cheeks.
You hunch over, arms clutching at your chest and a sob rips from your throat. It's not fair. You don't want to listen to him, but every word he lectures strikes hard into you. It's cruel, and you hate this. You feel foolish almost, but you have had every right to do what you were going to do up on the rail. You felt so empty and abandoned by every person you held dear to you. Nothing you do ever seems to be good enough anymore, and even your own skill with (fav hobby) has seemed so depleted to you.
Now Kankri tells you that you just have to go past all of this pain, and look forward. He's telling you everything will get better, but how can you trust him? What does he know? He's not you, so he doesn't even know what you're feeling.
"Y-you d-don't unders-stand." You stutter. "S-sure there are ch-chances for things to g-get better. I'll get o-over it. I'm j-just s-sick! I hear it all the time!" You scream the last part, and whip your face up to glare at him through your tears. Your shoulders shake fiercely, and you just want to run away.
Kankri looks angry at first, but his expressions softens as your tears start to stream more freely. He looks to be in decision over something before he walks closer to you, and stops. You glare at him silently as he pulls down the high neck of his turtle neck sweater. You take only a moment to notice the large scar across his throat, and your mouth parts in shock.
"I really do understand. You shouldn't assume things so quickly. So many people experience such harsh pain, and there are so many ways to deal with it. Some methods are better than others, and some of the worst methods look the best. Miss (l/n), I ask you to please listen to me. You can talk to others, you just have to find the right person. I realize I may talk quite endlessly, but I am quite capable of listening too." Kankri places his sweater neck back in place and gives you a pleading glance.
"I just want it to stop." The words slip past your lips in a tiny whisper and you stare at him. He looks slightly uncomfortable for a moment, and shifts awkwardly before opening his arms up stiffly.
"I usually do not appreciate such close contact, but if you'd like..."
Before he can finish, you've launched yourself into his arms, the tears now freely flowing. He's cautious and stiff feeling as he wraps his arms around you. He does not much care for his personal space to be entered, but this is an occasion that calls for it.
He allows you to soak his sweater with your tears until your sobs ease, and your eyes are dry enough to function. You pull away grateful for this chance. Grateful that his car came along when it did. Grateful that he knew what to say and you knew that he meant it even if you don't know him that well.
"Please get in the car, and I will give you a ride home. It is not a good idea to be walking around outside this late at night, and a school night of all things."
You nod, and follow him to the car. The atmosphere is quiet as he starts it up and starts the drive back to your house. You only talk to give him directions. You feel content with it, and find yourself feeling sad as you pull into your drive way. You climb out and give him a smile. You turn to go to your house when the car window goes down.
"I think you may like to know that Karkat wishes to talk with you quite urgently. He's in a bit of a rough state as well." Kankri calls after you.
You tilt your head in confusion, then nod. You doubt Karkat cares about you with Terezi at his side, but you won't deny him if he wants to speak.
"Thank you, Kankri."
"Please, if it's not too much trouble, come visit soon Miss (l/n)."
"Then I'll ask you to call me (f/n) please." You give him a small smile and retreat to your house.
--- Five Months Later ---
Oh yes, Karkat certainly did want to talk to you. Most of it being an immense apology for being a "nooksniffing bag of horseshit". He came across Terezi and Gamzee getting very steamy in the boys locker room when he had forgotten his gym bag in there earlier that day. He felt guilty for what he did and said to you, and regretted it terribly. You were able to make quick amends with him, and you were back to your usual hang outs. The one change was that now Kankri joined the two of you. He was a couple of years older, but you didn't mind, and Karkat learned do deal with it.
You also had more personal times with Kankri when Karkat couldn't hang out. It was during one of these times that you learned how Kankri got his scar.
It was when he was also in high school. He had many friends at the time, but noticed them slowly parting from him. He thought they liked his lectures until they started to interrupt and tell him to be quiet. He was able to continue to hang on until one day his best friend left him as well. Partings words used only to tell Kankri how annoying and insulting he was. They were spoken cruelly in a venomous tone, and it struck hard. Kankri went home that day and tried to hang himself.
It was the luckiest thing that one of those friends he thought had left him was still there for him. Porrim Maryam, older sister to your classmate Kanaya, had heard the bragging of the cruel friend, and went to his house to check on him.
There was some clearing up to be made. Her schedule with her job keeping her too busy to hang out. She didn't care for his lectures all the time, but she loved him either way.
You were sad to hear this, and it made you feel guilty. You quickly got relief though when you found she was like a mother to him rather than loving like a girlfriend.
That feeling probably brought you to where you are now, cuddled up in a blanket next to Kankri as he rants about the movie you're currently watching. Something about how the main protagonist is triggering for kissing the heroine without warning after he saved the day.
"Kankri, it's an action movie. They obviously like each other anyways."
"(y/n), please, she gave no consent! Yes, they like each other, but he can't just grab her and do such a thing without first asking. This fling of the moment thing is just too triggering...(blah blah blah)"
You can't believe him. He may have just randomly kissed the girl, but she met him halfway anyways. There was silent consent there or she could have backed away and slapped the jerk. It's a movie...a cartoon movie...
You were about to facepalm when an idea came to you. A small smirk spread its way across your face, and you turned to look at Kankri as he continued in his lecture.
Without a warning, you sprung over and attached your lips to his. He hummed for a second, still in the middle of his sentence before he slowly kissed back. You taste his lip slightly, using your tongue to request he open up. You are sadly met with his own tongue as your is shoved back. You pout slightly, but keep your efforts going as he battles you.
His hands light onto your waist, squeezing gently as he pulls you to his lap. His cautions with personal space have been deeply limited with you. Over time, he's gotten accustomed to closer contact with you. It was uncomfortable for him, but you took it slow, he told you he wanted to.
You moan into the kiss and your fingers dig into his shoulders. Your teeth clash for a moment and you squeak in the back of your throat. Using your weight, you shift forward, and make him lean back further. Your legs move to either side of his lap, and you lean deeper into the kiss, loving his taste.
"WHAT IN THE BULGE-FUCKING NAME OF ALL THAT IS SANE IN THIS SHIT HEAP OF A CITY ARE THE TWO OF YOU DOING ON THE FAMILY COUCH?"
So much for that. You fling yourself back as Kankri scrunches back into the couch with a look of embarrassment. Your face feels heated as you look to Karkat, and then back to Kankri's pink face.
"I, uh, thought you were out with Nepeta?" You question.
"Yeah, I just got home to find my best friend and older brother having sloppy makeouts on the fucking couch! I watch my romcoms there! Use your bedroom Kankri!"
You giggle softly, and Kankri finally sits up, looking slightly irked.
"Karkat, your language is very triggering. You really should not walk into the house screaming so loudly, and then you decide to start using such ill mannered language on top of that..."
"Jesus, whatever, I'm not sticking around for this. Just please use your fucking bedroom! Couple of fucking bulge busting shit brains, using the damned couch for a sloppy makeout session." Karkat throws his hands up in surrender and walks away halfway through his own rant muttering.
"That worked better than expected." Kankri mumbles.
You look to him with shock as he gives you a sly smirk.
"You heard him (y/n). I suppose we'll have to go downstairs."